We are not quite at the half way point of the winter close season, so I thought we could be in need of a little humour to get us through these cold months.

A cricketer died and went to Heaven. One day he looked down to Hell, and there to his amazement saw a cricket ground with fielders out and batsmen at the crease.

'I say,' he said to St Peter, look at that. A cricket match is about to start. And you call that Hell? Why, I'd love to be playing.'

'So would they,' smiled St Peter, 'but they haven't got a ball!'

The village team were short of an umpire so the captain walked into the public bar and asked if there was an umpire present.

One man stepped forward: 'I'm an umpire.'

'Have you stood before?' asked the captain.

'Of course I have, and my three friends here will vouch for that,' was the reply.

'Thank you for offering, but I don't think we'll accept.'

'You don't think I'm an umpire!'

'Quite frankly I don't, because I've never heard of an umpire having three friends.'

What do Mr Bell and Michael Jackson have in common ?

They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

What is the height of optimism ?

Trucker applying sunscreen before going out to bat.

A phone in the valuables bag started to ring.

The scorer answered it and the caller said, “Is Nick there please ?”

The scorer replies, “No, he has just gone out to bat.”

The caller chipped in, “Don’t worry I can hold for 2 minutes.”